Dating

I got married @ 18. My husband was 26. I was so excited to get married.... Not because he was the love of my life.... No I was just excited to start my life. I don't know why I felt like getting married was the way to start MY life.

If I had only know back then that this is MY life.. And there is something magical about being an independent women. I have no idea where I would be today if I hadn't gotten hitched @ 18.

Being Ty's wife taught me so much. I have a lot of wonderful memories of being his wife. I have three amazing children from him. Being his wife I learned how to put others first, how to be a partner, how to be selfless, how to feel insecure, to never be enough, to question everything I believed to be true, I learned my self worth, I learned that I am a loving joyful passionate women, that I'm ok being alone.... And at the end I learned to let go.

Divorce is hard. It's still hard for me 2 years later. Now that I am fully in a new relationship with a man who loves me and my body... It's still hard.

The loneliness I had in my marriage is now replaced with guilt. Guilt doesn't always stay with me... Somedays I'm filled with confidence ... But guilt has its own living space inside me and can consume me as needed.

So as I always say.... Keep breathing